Thursday, May 8, 2008

Gather ye rosebuds...

Just in time for Mother's Day a government commission in Switzerland has determined that plants have rights too. They have accused us all of being entirely too disrespectful of these living organisms.

Thankfully, these wise folk made an exception for harvests. Otherwise the McCormick reaper would merit the infamy associated with Dr. Guillotin's invention. Breathe a sigh of relief here. If the commission had not excepted foodstuffs, digging into a bowl of Wheaties would have made you a cereal killer.

Bad puns aside, the commission made no such exception for cut flowers. In its view cutting a flower was like decapitating it. But, they did manage to qualify this rule. Plucking the petals of a daisy is not an act of mutilation. Sentimental folk that they are, the Swiss commissioners will allow you to sacrifice all the petals you want in your quest for true love.

Sad to say, I am not making this up. Apparently, the commissioners missed class the day they taught metaphor.

Which leads us to Mother's Day. Everyone knows that roses are the perfect Mother's Day gift. If you had forgotten, let this post be a reminder. The trouble is, if you are a Swiss ethicist, sending a bouquet of roses makes you a serial killer.

So,Swiss ethicists have managed to create a situation where you are supposed to feel bad about doing the right thing. If you do not have enough to feel guilty about, send flowers.

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